003- Level up or shut the F*ck up!
In this episode I have a dear friend Jillian Varnae with me
Jillian fine art photography
creative director of Summerana which is a photography education platform
And influencer on tiktok
Knowing I was in a funk I started feeling depressed and my self worth was depleting I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with myself at times and I never wanted to be alone and when things didn’t go the way I wanted it to I just felt completely drained defeated and alone. I have been going through some things this past two years I left a very long relationship and had to redefine myself. Last year I went through the get everything out of my system stage. I was out a lot , socializing way to much. I thought I was happy… but was I really. The last few months I felt myself really in a rutttt…. A rutt in my parenting, in my life, in my business.. no motivation for my photography…. And I had to really dig myself out of a hole I was deeply stuck in. I have two studios one at the dole mansion and another one that is a warehouse that I share with Jillian ….. I have not photographed one client !! That is how stuck and unmotivated I felt.
I started thinking negative thoughts on what kind of a person I was.
One day I just looked in the mirror and said Ashley shut the fuck up and do something about it. Get off your ass and make changes. Level up and don’t look back.
First I want to really sit down and firgue out what it is that drives me . What makes me happy? What doesn’t? This helped me define where I really wanted to spend my energy.
So I took a deep breath thought about it all and decided that I needed my people so I made a conscious decision to create my own little level up team one being this podcast because I’m publicly saying it out loud to things that I need to do to level up and be a better person and a better self and second I reached out to a few of my friends and said let’s do this together like let’s level up together let’s push each other let’s make each other accountable so it’s out in the universe and we don’t get sidetracked.
One thing that was really stressing me out was online dating I realized it wasn’t really filling my cup I was feeling even more alone and empty after each date that I went on it just wasn’t what I need right now so I’m taking a step back and I’m going to date myself.
Another thing that I decided to do is to not socialize as much learn to be happy alone learn to be in a peaceful quiet environment and not always having to be around somebody this is part of learning how to date myself and be with myself I also started to write exponentially more and I have started this podcast podcast has been huge for me because it’s got me excited for something it’s got me motivated to do something hopefully inspire others another thing I decided to do was put myself in to another passion project since I am
‘My best friend wrote me a letter and left it on my doorstep and the first thing it said was…. “You are going to do great things….” that person has forever made a huge impact on me and if you are reading this know I love you with all of my heart.
……. moving on because thats what we all must do, find your passion make it your fuel and level up. Chase what makes your soul light up and live your damn life people!!
-Klemm
